fellswolfbane

For the short duration I’ve been in this world, I’ve always been overweight; according to the BMI chart I am considered obese. Since becoming an adolescent I can’t remember a time I wasn’t struggling with weight. Thus, I became the stereotypical angst-filled teenager. My obesity was a major cause for this and has become the effect as well. The first of 3 visits to the doctor’s office I’ve payed in the last 2 years, I weighed 246lbs. At the time I was ignorant to the number, focusing more on my outward appearance than anything else. If I looked skinnier, who cared about the number? The summer of 2008 I began to exercise more than I had ever before in my life. Every night I did at least 40 minutes. After just one workout I felt better than I had in a long time. My mood began to depend on the amount of exercise I had done the night before. I was addicted to that feeling of euphoria from finishing a workout. Over the course of the next year and into the summer of 2009 I continued to exercise and made healthier choices when eating at school or a restaurant.

When I saw the number on the scale in that doctor’s office I couldn’t believe it. 210lbs! 36lbs lighter than I’d been in years. This encouraged me to increase my exercise routine and I was even more aware than before of the food I ingested almost to the point of obsession. The last time I went to the doctor I weighed 205lbs. I’d lost 40lbs. That was 4 months ago. Since then I’ve began my last year in high school; simultaneously the most stressful and stress-free year of high school. I have begun to rationalize the reason for eating those french fries and chocolates, promising myself that I could afford it and I would work it off later…

2 weeks ago I stopped working out all together. I have hit a major plateau and fear I will have to start all over again. I need my motivation back and I’m hoping by dedicating myself to updating my profile and keeping this journal I can get back into my routine.